Is This a Midlife Crisis or an Awakening?
At some point in life—whether in our 30s, 40s, or later—we begin to question if the beliefs we once held still fit our reality. The things we once believed, the values we were raised with, and the truths we thought were universal suddenly don’t fit anymore. It can feel like a breakdown, an identity crisis, a loss of certainty. The question remains: is it a midlife crisis or an awakening?
For some, this realization happens when life forces them to change—through addiction, loss, mental health struggles, or major life transitions. Others wake up slowly, noticing the cracks in the foundation of their beliefs as they experience more of the world. We were all conditioned in one way or another—by family, religion, school, society. And at some point, reality forces us to confront whether what we were taught aligns with what we’ve actually lived.
The question is: When the script you were handed no longer fits, what do you do? What follows is not just a shift in thinking but a shift in consciousness itself.
Transformation is not just about knowledge; it is about energy. Every belief system we outgrow was built on a particular level of awareness, and when we begin to move beyond it, we are not just “changing our mind”—we are expanding our consciousness.
The Stages of Change: A Journey Through Consciousness
Precontemplation: Denial, Shame, Guilt, and Fear
At this stage, you don’t even realize change is needed. You live according to the beliefs handed to you—whether they serve you or not. There may be a deep sense of shame or guilt about questioning authority, religion, or tradition. Fear keeps you tethered to what is familiar.
“This is just how life is.”
 |
| Midlife crisis or awakening?
The author in a moment of deep reflection in 2017 after being diagnosed with liver cancer, six years after being in stage four liver failure. |
Contemplation: Hesitation, Apathy, Grief, and Doubt
Something inside you stirs, but you don’t know what to do with it. You may feel apathy—the sense that questioning is pointless—or grief over realizing the world is not what you thought it was. This is often the stage where addiction, depression, and existential crises surface.
“If this isn’t true, what else isn’t?”
Preparation: Readiness, Hope, Courage, and Willingness
A moment of clarity cracks through. Maybe it’s a book, a conversation, a life event. You start asking questions, seeking, opening yourself up to the possibility that you were wrong—but that’s okay. Courage emerges. You begin experimenting with new ideas, new ways of living.
“What if I can create my own path?”
Action: Change, Reason, and Understanding
You move beyond instinct and start seeing patterns. You recognize that what you were taught was not absolute truth, but a perspective based on the consciousness of those who taught you. You enter reason—a place where beliefs become fluid, where you question everything yet feel no urgency to arrive at immediate answers. You begin making conscious choices rather than reacting to conditioning.
“I don’t have to be who I was yesterday.”
Maintenance: Sustaining, Love, Peace, and Freedom
As your new awareness stabilizes, life begins to feel different—not because the world has changed, but because you have. You operate from a space of love—not the sentimental kind, but deep acceptance. You stop fighting old beliefs and simply transcend them. You see people stuck in old paradigms and feel no need to argue with them. You realize that freedom isn’t about rejecting the past—it’s about no longer being bound by it.
This is also called Recovery, and it is also a place where gratitude is expressed in many ways.
By the time you reach this stage, you are no longer reacting. You are creating.
(After reading this, click here for a deep dive into the levels of consciousness by Dr. David R. Hawkins. It will make you think.)
We were all handed a framework for life—things we were told were absolute truths. But as we grow, we realize that many of these “truths” don’t hold up in the real world.
- Some of us were taught that hard work guarantees success—until we saw people struggle despite doing everything “right.”
- Some of us were told that marriage is forever—until we learned that sometimes leaving is healthier than staying.
- Some of us believed the government would protect us—until we saw corruption firsthand.
- Some of us believed our religion had all the answers—until we experienced something deeper outside of doctrine.
- Some of us were raised to think patriotism is loyalty—until we saw what happens when blind loyalty replaces critical thought.
Each of these ideas was given to us, not chosen. And when life confronts us with realities that don’t match, we face a choice: hold onto the illusion or embrace a new truth.
At first, this collapse feels like losing yourself. But in reality, it’s an invitation to find yourself.
Everything you were taught was built on the level of consciousness of the people who taught it to you.
- If your religion no longer serves you, explore the divine in new ways.
- If your political views feel misaligned, educate yourself outside your usual echo chambers.
- If your relationships follow toxic patterns, break them and build new ones.
- If your career no longer aligns with your purpose, pivot toward what fuels you.
The biggest mistake people make is assuming that changing their beliefs means betraying their past. It doesn’t. It means evolving beyond it.
So, is it a midlife crisis or awakening? This process is messy. It’s painful. It often leads to moments of doubt, where you wonder if you should just go back to believing what you used to because it felt easier.
But you can’t unsee what you’ve seen. You can’t unknow what you now know. So, the only way forward is through, and on the other side of this? Peace. Acceptance. Freedom.
No longer needing to defend your beliefs because they are not beliefs anymore. They are truths you have lived.
If you’re feeling the collapse of your old belief system, know this: You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re evolving.
Many of us have walked this path, and while it isn’t easy, it’s worth it. The awakening isn’t a crisis—it’s a rebirth.
So, keep questioning. Keep growing. Keep evolving.
Your truth is waiting.
—
Author Steve Patterson (who had a transplant and is now cancer free) has worked with clients at Recovery Cafe since 2015. He also does spiritual/esoteric coaching as well, WindAndRaven.com, where this post originally was available, as well as get information about his book, This is How it Feels to Heal, a shamanic journey through cancer, recovery, and other life challenges as well as The Healing Pathways Program: Facilitator and Companion books.